Does the idea of love at first sight make your eyes roll, or your heart beat? Is love at first sight fact or fiction? How can you deal with it?
Most of the time, it’s an idealized phenomenon inspired by romantic movies, princess stories, and the like. How many people have really felt love at first sight? And if it did happen, did it last? Is it temporary or can it last over time?
There are a lot of questions about love at first sight. It’s an intriguing and fascinating subject in the universe of love. But how can you truly move on from that first moment to a real love story? Let’s discuss.
Love at first sight: Fact or Fiction. An honest take.
Interestingly, practically a quarter of all French people, considered to be among the most romantic people in the world, don’t believe in love at first sight. This means that the remaining three fourths are convinced that love at first sight exists.
It even seems that there are symptoms to describe it, like a faster heartbeat, hot flashes, shedding a few drops of sweat…It’s a truly strong emotional state that doesn’t happen every day and that you notice immediately.
For those who are more romantic, love at first sight comes from the heart. However, it’s a scientific thing (yeah, that does sort of ruin the romance of it). In fact, the brain is where it happens, not the heart. The brain is what controls the emotions and sensations that we experience…. The human body is so well-made that it creates what we call “happiness molecules.” In other words, endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin.
That’s a bit less romantic, right? Even so, that doesn’t make the pleasure we feel from them any less, and that’s what counts.
You have to keep in mind that love at first sight is also a question of spontaneity. Basically, a person who corresponds to you genetically is going to seduce you. This seduction will intensify thanks to superficial details, like their clothes or hairstyle, for example. Because there are so many other elements that come into play, love at first sight clearly isn’t something that comes from the heart.
It’s said that it only takes 0.2 seconds to fall in love with someone. The feeling is associated with the euphoric feeling that people get when they snort a rail of cocaine (don’t snort cocaine, this is just a comparison to illustrate the phenomenon and show that the effect doesn’t last, the same way the effects of this drug are temporary). And when it comes to love, we talk about the “seven-year itch,” so….
5 Facts that prove love has nothing to do with love at first sight
1.It’s a Hollywood creation
Naturally, with movies like Titanic, Wicker Park, Love Actually, and many others, we believe in love at first sight. Because it’s like in the movies…. Okay, yeah, it’s a movie. A movie is fiction. There you go. Love at first sight was created by Hollywood.
2. Love grows with time
How can you know in a single glance that there could be a love story here, a real, solid one that lasts? Without knowing anything about someone beyond their physical appearance, it’s a bit hard to believe…. Love grows with time; you have to get to know each other and experience things together to find out if you really could be in love.
3. It’s just a strong attraction
Could love at first sight just be a strong physical attraction and nothing more? Mutual attraction is so spontaneous that it can’t be based on anything besides the physical. Love at first sight happens that way, without warning. But you can’t talk about love without knowing the other person, right?!
4. More than anything else, it’s chemistry
Like I said before, love at first sight is chemistry more than anything else, involving the brain, endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and all of that. Nothing romantic about that – it’s all cerebral. But love isn’t in your head, right?
5. It can’t last
Love at first sight is what happens when you first look at someone, but it doesn’t last. It can’t last if it’s based on just that first look. So, okay, love at first sight might exist, but isn’t the same as a real, enduring love, right?
Okay, maybe love at first sight exists, but it’s temporary. They say that love always comes when we’re not expecting it. They also say this about love at first sight (really). Some people expect that they’ll experience love at first sight, while others aren’t even aware it exists. Those who wait for and expect it may be lucky. Why?
Well, if you think about it, there’s a greater chance that if they find love, they won’t act like crazy teenagers who’ll give everything up immediately for their new love. Those who experience love at first sight without expecting it may tend to act more irrationally in order to fully give themselves over to this temporary happiness.
Which way is best: to be aware of love at first sight and be more careful, or not to see it coming and fully give in to it? Everyone has their opinion.
How to deal with love at first sight?
Yes, it can happen, whether it lasts or not. So how to deal with love at first sight when it happens to you?
First, let’s clarify that there are two kinds of love at first sight: mutual and one-sided. Yeah, that changes things.
Mutual love at first sight is obviously the ideal scenario. In this case, love at first sight can be temporary but it could last, if the two people work on and grow their love. It doesn’t just happen like a gift from heaven. The feeling will lose its intensity over time, of course, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use it to create a solid foundation for a lasting love. So, that’s pretty cool!
The secret is not to idealize your partner or your relationship. Idealizing is death for love at first sight and for love in general. By idealizing too much, of course you’ll be disappointed. Everyone has their qualities and their flaws, so you have to learn about and appreciate both in each other. With this in mind, even if you did experience love at first sight, don’t get carried away. Take time to discover and get to know each other, without rushing things.
And then there’s one-sided love at first sight. Here, you have to be careful. You’re completely and deeply under the person’s spell. But it’s not reciprocal. It could possibly become that way, but now, here, in this moment, that’s not the case. So, calm down, don’t lose your cool, and keep your feet firmly on the ground. All’s not lost, far from it, but you’re going to have to hide how you feel or else risk making your possible future partner run away.
Take it slow. Seduce them by putting all the advantages on your side but don’t overdo it. Be yourself, don’t play a role, but try to keep your strong emotions to yourself. Control yourself. If this love at first sight turns into mutual love with time, you’ll be able to express your deepest feelings later. Until that happens, keep them to yourself.
Now, if it seems like everything you’ve tried just hasn’t worked and this love at first sight will never become a mutual love, move on quickly. Don’t linger over what you can’t have. And most importantly, keep your head high. You’ll find your own real love one day.
Whatever the situation, whether it’s mutual love at first sight or not, take some time to breathe and don’t get carried away. Don’t make the mistake of idealizing the situation and this person you like so much. Does your head feel a bit muddled? That’s completely normal.
You either believe in love at first sight, or you don’t. Ultimately, we all have our opinion, based on our experiences. Just because it happened to your friend doesn’t mean that it happened to you, or that it will happen. And just because your friend says it doesn’t exist doesn’t mean that you should think the same way.
If you experience love at first sight, whether your love story lasts or not, enjoy it. Don’t ask too many questions; let things evolve naturally. If it doesn’t last, too bad, at least you had a good love at first sight experience. And if it does continue, all the better – you can congratulate yourself at having experienced love at first sight that became long-term love.
What do you think about love at first sight? Has it ever happened to you? Share your thoughts in the comments.