I wrote last time about the creating a vision for ourselves to put the hardships of learning game into perspective. I got a number of e-mails asking me to elaborate on the concept. Some people wondered if having a great goal is enough to make rejection, fear of leaving the comfort zone etc. bearable enough. I realized, I haven’t shared everything. There’s more you can do to change the unpleasant, to acceptable or even… fun.
Those who succeed
For 5 years now, I’m involved in one way or another in the Polish seduction community. I’ve met hundreds (thousands, probably) of guys, who started as socially awkward, fearful in general sucking completely with women and… I’ve seen them change. Some of them drastically, some just barely. And some didn’t really change at all and run away in terror, crushed by early failure and pain of rejection. Time after time, I was trying to figure out what makes the difference, which are the factors that would make it possible for me to predict who’s gonna succeed and who’ll fail. And! More importantly, I wanted to invent a way to make everyone be able to achieve desired results.
It took me some time, but I believe I found out. The answer is: attitude towards rejection. Cause, rejection will come. There’s no magic pill that will ever make you irresistible.
It’s all about the meaning we assign to our experiences. It’s what the Fiona Apple’s song about:
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I’ll make the most of it
I’m an extraordinary machine
Whatever comes her way, she’s able to turn it around, to find meaning and something good in it. Artists for years were thought to be able to do it. It’s their role in society: show you how to deal with age, pain, suffering and tough luck. You have to be able to see the worst as fun…
…because that’s what the most successful guys out there do. They think rejection is funny! They know their worth and reaction of some random young chick won’t make them change their mind. They simply don’t care. They get amused by the bad reactions. Maybe they get pissed by them and use the energy to approach other women with more power, but one thing is sure: they never cry about it.
And further, Fiona Apple, gives you the right attitude:
I seem to you, to be seeking a new disaster every day
This is how you’ll seem to your friends, my man. Why is he approaching chicks again? OMG, this guy is looking to get hurt! People will learn to respect you. Fearlesness is amazingly admired quality. You’ll put head where others would be afraid to stick their little toe.
Pain you feel from rejection is an illusion. It’s the meaning you attach to it that hurts you – you put someone’s (someone who doesn’t know you at all!) opinion about yourself above your own. How ridiculous is that?
Head check – are you a loser?
Just to make sure we’re on the same page, I’ll describe a guy, who won’t succeed with women. Firstly he’ll start with a crazy ambition: I’ll bang actresses and strippers by Tuesday! Secondly he’ll put his whole ego on the line: I’ll succeed or I suck! or I’m worthless! He’ll try two times, get hurt and run home. He’ll be crushed, but his ambition will make him to try again. He’ll read seduction materials for three weeks like crazy and when he’ll feel prepared, he’ll give it a try. And guess what? The scenario will repeat itself. Try – failure – pain – recuperation – reading – trying again. Wash & repeat. Us, guys writing about seduction should adore these guys – they spend so much time reading our material! But that’s not what we desire. We want to see people transform and change their lives for the better. I work as a business consultant in Warsaw – it pays WAY better than giving seduction advice, but… is much, much less satisfying. Seeing a guy discover his strength, finding confidence… it just makes my heart grow. Makes me happy.
So… let’s have a new disaster everyday! Let’s enjoy the crazy stuff, the tough faces we may be given in the club, let’s find fun in the absurd, unique life we’ve been given. Girls are waiting to be discovered, skills are there to be learned and fun is on standby, until you open your mouth and make the magic happen! Transforming force is strong with you my friends!
Very best regards,
PS : Check out my website: maciejrajk.eu & await my audiobook on Awesome Inner Game that will be available for purchase soon from SeductionByKamal.com/EN. We are pretty sure that you gonna LOVE IT!