Inner Game, Baby !

Inner game and outer game, eh? Why do we have to make labels for everything?? They’re so closely related, they’re like a one thing. And they merge in one place: in you. You can’t have good outer game without a decent inner one.

Why? Well, acting with a dissonance to your inner-self is very tiring and… let’s be honest, doesn’t work very well. Girls see through that illusion pretty easily. I know, fake it till you make it principle works sometimes, but actually we should start building solid foundations first.

What are the two pillars of rock-solid inner game?

1. High self-esteem

2. Right values and convictions

High self-esteem is absolutely crucial. But what do I mean by self-esteem?

It’s believing you’re good enough and deserve a girl you want. Then it’s ability to put the importance of your own fun first. Finally is a strong self-acceptance – your opinion of yourself is much more important then her opinion of you.


If you wanted to be accepted by your daddy or mommy and they didn’t give you that, I have news for you: too late! I’m sorry they’ve failed, but need their acceptance anymore. On top of that you don’t need anybody’s acceptance! There was a time when being accepted, meant staying alive, I know. It was like that for all of us. We were dependant on our parents, but we’re not anymore! I mean, even if they still support you, you could survive. If you earn your own living you’re free. (Maybe you need your boss acceptance or your clients, but it’s a mutual thing – they need yours as well.) All you need is your own acceptance, you’re a big boy now.

It will not hurt you if a girl doesn’t like you. It will, only if you decide it should. By why should it? If you meet her in a club she knows nothing about you.

My fun, then your fun

Concept of putting your own well-being before hers is very closely linked to self-acceptance. If you accept yourself and don’t need her validation, naturally you’ll start saying stuff that makes you feel good, instead of stuff you believe will make her accept you – no more pretending you’re fascinated by make-up techniques or her ex-boyfriend’s nasty habbits. ‘Why would I like to listen to that, girl? Let me better tell you how awesome parachuting/moto-racing/surfing/football is!’ If you think now: ‘But she wouldn’t be interested in that!’, then… this article is for you, my dear friend. Talking to her about her interests is an attempt to bathe yourself in her good emotions. Talking about what interests you is bathing her in your awesome emotions. If your inner reality is cooler and it makes you more happy, she’ll be super-attracted to you. I mean, girls are so empathetic! They crave men who feel good! They’ll feel your emotions and feel amazing themselves. It’s better to have an awesome swimming pool and invite girls there, than begging them to let you use their little swimming pools (now, don’t start calling vaginas, swimming pools, that’s just disturbing! It’s just a metaphor. ;)).

You deserve it

Finally you have to believe you deserve the girl. You cannot put her on the pedestal and make her into a deity. You’re both on the same level. The fact that she had nice looking parents is no achievement of hers and therefore shouldn’t earn her your respect. If she’s otherwise awesome, fair enough, regard her, but never higher than yourself. Why would you? All people are created equal – I think the founding fathers had that one right.

Right convictions

You can be the coolest, the happiest and most awesome individual, but if you believe that a girl that sleeps with a guy she just met is a slut… well, no girl will want to sleep with you. Same goes for believing girls are somehow more special than guys or that only men really like sex. If you don’t believe girls love sex, you’ll be trying very hard to convince them and they’ll perceive you as a salesman, instead of a buyer. You cannot have a belief that girl by sleeping with you is making you a great favour, really, you can’t. I mean, you are making each other very happy – the favour works both ways.

So, before  you memorize you memorize another pick up line or practice good body language in the mirror, make sure your inner self is intact. Your inner awesomeness will burst from under your skin and paint your whole face – there’s no pretending. You either believe in yourself or you don’t.

PS I’m preparing a nice audiobook on the matter: it’ll consist of a detailed description of what an awesome inner reality is & it will include many exercises to develop that inner diamond. There’ll be my e-mail there as well, so I’ll be able to answer any of your questions in writing and, if there’s a need, through Skype.

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