Every romantic relationship is unique. Some couples find balance and happiness in a natural and easy manner, but this isn’t the case for everyone.
Yes, sometimes a relationship can have all the characteristics of impossible love and the logical solution would be for the romantic partners to end it for their wellbeing but there is no logic in love – that’s where things get complicated…. So, how do you manage when you’re dealing with impossible love?
Before we continue, keep this essential thing in mind: Every problem has a solution. So, if you’re currently involved in an impossible love scenario, don’t worry, you’ll be able to move on from it. Let’s look at how to do that in a few steps.
Express what you feel
In any romantic relationship, whether it’s an impossible love or not, express what you feel. If you need or want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, then scream. If you want to let off some steam, go work out or do another activity that will help you do this. The goal is to externalize everything you feel so that you’ll be able to get out of this impossible love in a healthy and effective way.
If you internalize your feelings or refuse to face reality, you won’t be able to escape the situation you’re in, believe me.
If you hold back or bottle up your feelings and emotions, they’ll resurface sooner or later, and this will be even harder for you to endure.
Don’t let anger overwhelm you
It’s highly likely that you’re angry but don’t let yourself be overtaken by anger. This anger conceals a number of feelings; instead of refusing to admit them, let them come out – this way you won’t need a baseless fury to camouflage them.
You’re angry because you feel weak, vulnerable. It’s unpleasant, I know, but it’s normal and will pass, don’t worry.
It’s always hard to accept that things don’t always go the way we expected, but it’s what you have to do when there’s no other choice. It’s the best way to break free and be able to move on to other things, giving yourself a chance to experience a healthy, balanced love, rather than an impossible one.
Getting angry won’t help you move forward or turn the page.
Take care of yourself
When we break up with someone, we tend to let ourselves go, but take care of yourself, make yourself happy. Everything that can make you happy in a healthy way is welcome. The goal is to keep up your morale and make yourself smile in order to continue turning the page on this impossible love.
If you want to give in and have some chocolate, candy, or ice cream, go for it (as long as it doesn’t become a bad habit that could make you feel bad rather than good). Go to a spa for a massage, go on a weekend getaway with friend, watch your favorite movies (as long as they make you cry with laughter), etc.
Don’t forget the power of music
What you listen to can influence your mood and behavior. Don’t forget the power of music — choose a good, fun playlist that’s catchy and positive, to make you smile and get you motivated.
Avoid listening to music that could make you sad or nostalgic. Opt for anything that can boost your morale and give you a dose of positive energy.
It’s important to know that music is an excellent remedy for stress and anxiety — when you make sure to choose the right songs, of course.
Still, if you want and need to cry while listening to sad music, okay, but know how to rebound from that so that you won’t stay in a mindset that can bring you down rather than lift you up.
Talk to someone you trust
If you have a group of people you normally talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out to them. Talk to someone you trust and express what you feel. Keep in mind that your friends won’t cure you of this impossible love. But their presence and willingness to listen will definitely help you move on.
Some of them might have good advice to offer, and others can be a listening ear. If you can talk to at least one person you trust, that’s already a very good thing. Choose someone who will support you and know how to listen, even how to advise you.
“Talk” to your journal
I know that writing isn’t for everyone but if it’s something you like, this idea will work for you. If you’ve never tried it before, now is the time.
“Talk” to your journal, write what you feel and everything that’s on your mind. Writing in your journal or even a simple notebook is an excellent way to get over this impossible love. You’ll work at putting your feelings and emotions into words. You’ll verbalize what you feel, and you’ll see the positive evolution of the process of your escape from this impossible love.
By writing what you feel, you can keep a trace of all of this and re-read it when you’re in a more peaceful place, in order to better move on.
Sometimes we feel shy about expressing our emotions to a friend or someone else close to us, but in your journal, you can let yourself go, since no one else will read it.
Mope, but not too much
No doubt about it, you’ll definitely want to moan a bit about the situation, so do it, but not too much. Don’t mope about more than is reasonable. It feels good to feel like a victim and be sad, but be careful that this doesn’t go on for too long!
You have to be able to get past the moping stage and into the stage of reclaiming yourself. Complain, but don’t wait too long to turn the page and move on to a more joyful and positive mindset.
Make a list of things that are going well in your life and within yourself: you like a certain part of your body, a certain aspect of your personality, you love your job, you like a physical activity you do, you feel great when you spend time with your parents, etc. Don’t hesitate to think of everything that’s positive in your life; this way, you won’t stay blocked in a pessimistic stage.
Cut all ties with your ex
It’s clear that this is an impossible love, so cut all ties with your ex and move on. If you keep talking to each other, you won’t be able to turn the page and get ahead in your life. So, stop, burn your bridges and don’t look back.
If, unfortunately, you have to stay in contact with your ex because of work, school, your children, or another reason, only use essential polite phrases like “Hello” and “Goodbye” but don’t go any further when it comes to communicating.
And of course, don’t tell yourself that you could just sleep together, because that will do you more bad than good.
To really get out of this impossible love, you have to cut all types of contact, whether they’re verbal, physical, or something else.
Forget about online stalking and mementos
You could want, even desperately want, to stalk your ex online, but forget about it. Don’t go through their Facebook or Instagram. I know, it’s so tempting, but if you really want to get out of this impossible love, this is something you really have to stop doing.
Focus on your own life, your own Facebook, your own Instagram, let your ex live his life and you live yours.
You also have to let go of mementos. Get rid of anything that could remind you of this impossible love. The idea is to gather all the mementos tied to your ex and put them away in a place that’s hard to get to, so that you won’t be tempted to look at them. I advise against destroying them because once you’ve turned the page you’ll be able to look at these mementos again without it having any negative effect on you. Not to mention the fact that what’s destroyed can’t be repaired. Don’t do something that you might end up regretting.
Make peace with your ex
Of course, you don’t have to reconcile with your ex but if you come to a point where you feel a desire and a need to do it, then yes, reconcile with your ex.
Some people even manage to become friends despite having feelings for each other, while others don’t. You’ll see.
In any case, because your love is impossible, at least you have the choice between being friends or cutting all ties for good.
There is, however, one rule to follow: Never force yourself to do something you don’t want to do.
If you feel good without having made peace with your ex, keep things that way. You’re the one who decides what’s best for you.
Think of yourself and your life
It’s clear that in order to escape an impossible love, you have to take care of yourself. Think of yourself and your life, be active, get motivated, go out, go to the gym, see your friends and family, take pleasure when you’re working, meet new people, participate in events you’re interested in, go on vacation, try new things, achieve your dreams, etc.
And above all: love yourself. It’s extremely important to do this. Learn to love yourself, if you didn’t before this impossible love came into your life. Find confidence in yourself again, walk with your head high, be aware of your strengths and of the incredible person that you are. Don’t let anyone tell you differently, and weed out people in your social circles who bring you down rather than lift you up.
No need to put pressure on yourself; on the contrary, go at your own pace and decide what’s best for you in every aspect of your life.