Since SBK is obviously specialized in seduction, relationships, and ways to showcase your charismatic and confident personality, it goes without saying that self realization goes hand-in-hand with these themes.
Paradoxical as it may sound to your ears, you must understand that pursuing women is not an end in itself. It is more important that you are adapting a mindset, a rational, individualized lifestyle based on the pursuit of determined and consistent goals that will let you develop as an appealing and attractive person.
But what is a goal, you may ask… it’s true, we hear it all the time, but never really have a clear and precise definition. How can we choose one, how can we be sure it is the right goal for ourselves, and, especially, how can we achieve it?
Today, we’ll talk about all this and more. Give me your full attention, because I’m about to push you to change the way you see the world, and how you approach interactions with the opposite sex.
What are my goals?
Ask yourself this question first, before you start out on a course that could take you in the wrong direction, towards results you may not actually want. An objective is built upon prior thinking, questioning and a certain amount of honesty. In most cases, a desire for improvement is at its core.
We all want something we don’t have, something lacking in our lives, in almost every area of our lives (professional, romantic, material, etc.). What’s the first step? We have to make a plan, a step-by-step process to get what we want.
The idea of a goal helps root you in reality. If you want to grow, improve, get fitter, richer, or smarter, you have to put in effort, and, above all, understand that a goal is different from a dream. It has to be achievable, even it it’s in the long term.
In practice, this means that I could never be a fighter pilot because my eyesight is not perfect. I could never be an entomologist, because insects gross me out, and I will never be a doctor, because I can’t standthe sight of blood.
What we have to understand isthat a goal comes from our own self, andit has to match our potential, our desires, and our abilities. This therefore requires an honest self-assessment, identifying our own strengths and weaknesses.
This assessment can either be done both mentallyorin writing. Your role is to constructively observe your situation and to find ways of improving.
Need an example? No problem.
Maybe you’d like to improve your physical appearance. If so, an honest self-assessment might go like this:
“I’ve got a little belly,” “My glasses don’t match the shape of my face,” “My haircut makes me look sloppy,” “My clothes make me look like a teenager.”
What objectives can come out of these observations?
- I want to get in better shape, gain muscle mass, and lose weight.
- I need to get a makeover, find a style that better fits my personality and makes me feel good about myself.
What solutions can help me achieve my goals?
I can join a gym
- I can play sports (either individual or team sports)
- I can watch what I eat
- I can go to a stylist and listen to his or her advice
- I can start to shop to refresh my wardrobe
- I can find a summer job to meet these new needs
- I can keep a journal to keep my motivation strong
- I can take a picture of myself everyday to see my improvement
This example may seem obvious, but it is just common sense, and you can apply the same basic logic to all areas of your life. Think through your life problems step-by-step like this to identify a clear definition of your personal goals.
Where there’s a will, there’s a way (but don’t go to far)!
Our first part showed us that a goal is more than a wish – it’s a desire that can only be reached through effort and strong focus. Now, it’s easy to understand that it will take time to achieve our aspirations.
By definition, a goal is something that we want to strive for, a state of being we don’t currently have. It shouldn’t be something we canachieve in a few days! This can be demoralizing, can lead us to lose our motivation, and sometimes distracts us from the path to success.
There are many examples: we try to stop smoking, but temptation gets the better of us and we buy another pack, promising ourselves that next time it will be for good. We want a degree so we can get ahead in our field; maybe we even enroll, but then class assignments pile up, and we lose our patience and motivation. We want to start our own company, but the administrative costs and the bureaucracy get to be too much, so we just throw in the towel.
One thing is clear: impatience is the enemy of achievement. Without giving yourself time to evolve, you cannot change. A strong start is important, but it’s not enough.
You have to commit your whole being – your body, mind, and spirit – to working towards your goal, and it will take time.
How can you overcome your impatience? It’s easier than you think. Take another look at your goals, and break them into smaller, manageable steps.
Working towards milestones along the way can bring more immediate satisfaction, which can be hard to see if we’re only focused on the “big picture.”
Want to become an engineer, but you’ve just started your studies? Focus first and foremost on your first classes and assignments. Don’t look at them as obstacles you have to get through – think of them as stepping stones that bring you closer to reaching your final goal.
What’s the difference here? It’s that, achieving these smaller goals allows you to celebrate, to reward yourself, and to see your progress and to see your improvement along the way. You’re one step closer, with more knowledge gained and another process mastered.
Rather than say that there is still a long way to go, you should focus on the present and enjoy your current success. Again, this process of breaking down your goals is useful in all areas of your life – including seduction.
Are you interested in a girl in your class? Your primary goal, before even imagining kissing or going further, is to get noticed and build a trusting relationship (with all the material available on SBK, this should not be a concern). This is your goal – consider it an investment, not a roadblock.
It was only after achieving success in this area that you can move on to another phase of your plan, such as physical contact, then the first kiss. Remind yourself that your mindset is crucial when you go in search of fulfillment.
Every day should be seen as an opportunity to learn and get closer to your goal, step by step, without moving too fast. A goal should be an on-going motivation, not an obsession.
By taking this into consideration, you can evolve and improve. The moral of the story? A goal is not an obligation or an obstacle, it is a road to personal growth and development. Rather than seeing a goal asdistracting or challenging, see it as a way to reveal the full extent of your personality.
What about you? What are your goals? How do you reach them? Please get back to us!