This is just a simple question, only a few words. But here’s my observation: if this sentence is running through your head, you haven’t understood the meaning of seduction.
Pay close attention to what I tell you now – it could change your view of human relationships forever. “What they think of you… doesn’t matter! ”
I’m putting this out there in an effort to raise your consciousness. By trying too hard to please, we lose a bit of our personality, the little things that make us exceptional, unique, different… and SEDUCTIVE!
So I know, the novices out there still have that silly Americanized picture of a player: A squirrely guy who uses Clearasil, who wears tight pants and sings with the voice of a little girl of 12 year old…
But it’s time to fight against Biberization! It is time to embrace who you are, to assert your personality, and to reveal yourself as a charismatic man!
Girls don’t want to go out with you … because you give them too much power!
Psychological independence: this is one of cornerstones of seduction, to such an extent that it is mentioned it in almost all the articles signed SBK.
An attractive man is not a man who spends time wondering why women don’t come to him.
This kind of thinking doesn’t even enter his mind. In truth, there is nothing to even consider! He is who he is, he has his own life, and he enjoyshis experiences as they come to him.
He has something akin to animal instinct: He doesn’t give a lot of though to “why.”He prefers to focus on the “how.”
What does this actually mean? Lets take an example:
Justin (name chosen completely at random, with no connection to my fierce loathing for a certain arrogant, talentless, boring Justin who I would crush like a cockroach if given the opportunity) is a young, fairly attractive young man.
And that’s also his problem. He doesn’t understand why the girls he meets don’t want him. There are many girls who seem interested… but whenever he tries to talk to them, he is denied. He’s going crazy!
The explanation? Justin is obsessed with what girls think of him. When he wakes up in the morning, he is already planning what he’ll say in class to make them laugh, how he’ll behave, how they’ll react… In the end, it’s all fake, so his behavior seems (and is) forced, rather than natural (plus he has a horrible haircut).
Justin isn’t able tojust be himself. He has the idea that a player is someone who tries so hard. This means he has almost no improvisation skills, and little ability to think on his feet. He takes it poorly whenever anyone criticizes him, and when a girl comes up to him, he changes his behavior.
The more you care about the way people see you, about your image, the more of a wall you put up between yourself and others. Trying to put yourself forward as an “attractive person” doesn’t mean that anyone will find you attractive.
The first thing you have to do is show that you aren’t easy to get – you have to seem unattainable. The first woman to smile at you shouldn’t send you hiding behind a bush.
Girls are only human
This is what Justin has forgotten: girls are not mystical creatures; you don’t have to follow a secret code to trick them into liking you. There are certainly some techniques you can use, but “women” are not “exotic creatures.”
She’s nothing extraordinary. Like any human being, she’s looking for fun, excitement, and challenge.
What girl would you choose: one that follows you everywhere, drooling over you and harassing you via text, or one that seems far above everyone else, unattainable?
That’s whatAndrew (Justin’s buddy) has understood. Although he is less attractive physically, all girls like to be in his company. Why? Because, though he wants to win, like any man does, he doesn’t let it show.
When he’s talking to a girl, he prefers to joke around, banter with her. Not excessive, just enough to make her smile. Then? Then… nothing, he continues on his way, living his own life.
Justin doesn’t understand this (well, he doesn’t understand much, poor guy). Why not continue? She smiled,she must be into me, right?
Well no! Andrew knows to let her stay in the dark, to not overdo it. The less hetries, the more girls wonder about him. They find him different at first. Because he’s not pursuing them.
It’s all in good fun, and if it sometimes doesn’t work, if she doesn’t take the bait, he lets it go. In short, he keeps it light, he stays in a good mood, he’s always friendly and witty… And unlike Justin, he sees what’s really going on.
When he’s off and running, it focuses on the finish line. He works, he wants to succeed. Justin is basically a big fool. He spends his time watching the girls with a needy look in his eyes.
Don’t be Justin!
I must admit… there’s nothing really new in this article. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a point. I’ve noticed in your comments that it is difficult to get the right balance down in seduction situations.
If there were a simple formula, no one would be afraid of rejection, and shyness would disappear from the list of human psychological dispositions.
Just tell yourself that the person who matters most, the one you need to impress, seduce every day, is you. And that is the number one priority of the charismatic man: do everything possible to be able to look in the mirror and say “I did my best, I can be proud of myself.”
Having that spirit naturally makes you seem attractive. The most attractive men are not the most handsome or sensitive.
No, they’re the ones who know how to take care of themselves, not out of a desire to attract attention, but out of respect for themselves, to go beyond,to improve.
When you understand that she is not the one you need to keep your attention on, then you will gain charisma.
A player is therefore, by definition, not a man following a fad or trying to fit a mold.
He sets his own requirements, as part of his personality.
So now you now know what you have to do! Burn that purple hat, cut your hair, and just be… yourself!