Today, I’m here at my computer to address a topic reserved especially for our more mature readers: how to seduce a divorced woman. As we know, the context is very different from a random encounter with a young lady who wants to experience life and who is open to romance. Divorced women, by definition,are nervous: of being betrayed, manipulated, or making a bad choice that could cost them dearly.
Suffice it to say that before you start pursuingthe girl, you have to think carefully and take many things into consideration … But hey, I’ll try to help! Okay, enough waffling, I don’t have anything especially important to say in my introduction (hey, it happens).
That said, just one thing before starting: This article will focus more on the mindset to adopt than on the description of a concrete method. You’ll quickly understand why.
Introspection and reflection: two crucial steps in your approach
What is certain is that you have a very specific goal here. Coming out of a relationship that ended badly, she’s not likely to be either gullible or forthcoming. Before you even start to think about how to seduce her, ask yourself if you really WANT to seduce her. There are major factors at play here – especially in terms of emotional implications.
What to expect: the thing to understand is that a divorced woman is no ordinary hook-up. She was in a relationship and it went wrong. From that point on, she is either looking for Prince Charming, or is jaded. Anyway, the process will take longer, require more effort, and is worth taking pause.
If it is a simple physical attraction, move along. She won’t react to your advances they way you expect, and she will be more emotionally detached. So beware, you are entering a danger zone!
What she’s looking for: Your target probably has specific expectations. She wants a man she can trust, who doesn’t try to play her. The wounds of the past are still very present.
This is the kind of woman you don’t have the right to deceive (even less than others). While you always have to be respectful towards women, this is especially important here. Only a heartless man would take advantage of a divorced woman and sneak out in the morning without leaving his number. I don’t know about you, but personally, I think that is just wrong.
Before you embark on this endeavor, so you’ll have to ask two key questions: Am I ready to go in gently, and what do I have to offer this woman?
The seduction of a divorced woman, an extended process
The woman you’re interested has had her honor violated. Failure never feels good, and here it is especially bitter: the person she thought was made for her… was apparently not. Because of this, her selection criteria will become more demanding and her confidence will be lower.
A divorced woman has to get re-accustomed to being the object of someone’s affections. If you want her to notice you, you have to show her that you value her as a person. During your first interactions, you have to pay attention to her, and her alone: her life, her hobbies, her future, herself… and never bring up the divorce!
Do not talk about her ex-husband (unless she brings it up herself), and do not try to compare her experience with yours. This grief is very personal.
Some tact will be required if you want to seduce a divorced woman. You have to present yourself as a good alternative, a breath of fresh air, but keep it natural – you don’t want to force her hand in any way.
→Patience: seducing a divorced woman can take time, much longer than usual. Her distrust must be deconstructed, put in perspective. Think of it as a challenge, an opportunity to show her that there are men who are interested in her and can imagine a future with her.
If you are too physical, too sexual, or if you come on too strong, you could scare her off. So, I would advise you to focus on her body language before attempting anything: she must be open and clearly showing signs of attraction (already described in several articles).
→Honesty: Drop the smooth operator act. The more you lie, the more you risk pushing the lady away and reminding her of unhappy memories. As far as possible, be honest and direct (but don’t forge to keep a little mystery!).
The trouble here is that a divorced woman is always looking for something wrong with you. She wants to find a man, but she doesn’t want to be surprised again, so she wants to know as much as possible about her suitors. Honesty is your best defense here – be your own, charming, self.
→ Almost Friendzone: If she is opening up to you, it’s especially important that you be available, that you be a good listener, and that you show sympathy. A divorce leaves damage, and talking about it feels good. Anyway, if you want to seduce her, you need to let her talk about her experience… and you need to show her that you can have a conversation about someone other than yourself.
→Bethe man her ex wasn’t: By “talking about the divorce,” I of course also meant talking about the shortcomings of her ex-husband. This gives you a great opportunity to see what she is looking for. Indirectly, this will also give you the keys to her heart, by learning why her marriage did not work, and what she would have changed. You just have to be sure to show that you won’t make the same mistakes your predecessor did.
Lack of romance? Take her out for a candlelit dinner, organize a surprise weekend trip, buy her flowers… You have to make it clear you’re interested, but without pushing her to accept your advances. In a word, I would suggest you adopt a chivalrous attitude.
→ Determination and future plans: a divorced woman typically isn’t just trying to have fun. She wants a man who knows what his future holds and who can give her some stability and security. Being proactive is your best weapon.
Show her your confidence and your ability to deal with challenges, whether professional or personal. Don’t lie about your problems, fix them!
Now that you know the main ways to act, you’re probably wondering how to make the first move? What should you say to her? How can you get the ball rolling? Well, just using the suggestions above to adapt your usual method. You are a calm, capable individual, not some desperate guy. You do not NEED her, you are just attracted to her… so show her all that!