This is the question that always comes up when you are anxiously awaiting your first time. You see your friends getting laid, and it seems like every TV show and movie are showing people having sex. This can beat you down and demoralize you – but what’s the secret? How can you finally stop being a virgin?
This is an issue that will interest more than one of SBK’s readers ! Don’t panic – today I’ve decided to come to your aid and share some answers that will help ease the wait, show you that all is not lost, and that good things come to those who wait! Let’s get started.
1. Impatience is your enemy
I’ve been there and I know what I’m talking about from experience… I too was once waiting for that celebrated first time, trying to make it happen every time I met a new girl, and feeling unable to think about anything else… in hindsight, it’s clear that this is the worst thing to do. You are young and have your entire life before you – so many events that are as (or more) important than this first time you have sex. One day or another the opportunity will come up– but it will take longer if it’s all you can think about.If a young guy can’t think of anything other than having sex, it’s as obvious as if he had it written on his forehead – and girls will be able to see that desperate guy coming from a mile away!
Rather than thinking about losing your virginity as your primary goal, you should see this as part of your learning process as a real man. While it will obviously be a huge win when it happens, being unable to make is happen doesn’t constitute a loss. This is especially the case if you are at an age where your potential partners are also very likely to still be virgins. Girls are more afraid of their first time than men. No doubt she has heard all kinds of stories aboutthe first time being painful, bloody, and relatively little fun. So don’t put all the blame on yourself – there are many other factors at play!
All of that is to say that your mindset plays a major role in increasing your opportunities to have that first experience. Girls are looking for someone they can trust, not someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of pornographic films – which give an inaccurate depiction of sex in the real world anyways. So don’t come on too strong when you meet a girl – let time take its course. She almost certainly wants the same thing as you, but for that to happen, you can’t rush her!
2. See it all as a learning opportunity
If I ask you to give me the definition of a player, what would you say? A good-looking, intelligent guy? No, not at all! Being a player relies on self-confidence. If you have already heard of the Alpha male, you know what I mean. The alpha male, a term that comes from the animal kingdom, is the dominant one, the one that others follow, who inspires respect and attracts others. His charisma speaks for itself, and he doesn’t need to pursue the women – they naturally come to him. How does he do this? By demonstrating his ability to remain unmoved. He’s not afraid of failure or taking risks, and attracting females is not his ultimate goal. He just has a good time and others appreciate him because it does not try to “close” or to force things. He is not overcomeby his desires, and his emotions do not dominate him.
Getting there is easier than it might seem: you need to develop your player personality by relying on the guidance on our website in the “seduction” section. Increase your contacts, meet girls, learn how to behave and what to say. All these factors that will help you be seen as a man who knows what he’s doing, who can attract the ladies without too much effort.
Look at seduction as a game or a race … If you don’t practice, you’ll never improve. Youhave to try, try, try,until you find the techniques and behaviors that suit you and work with your character. Charisma is not innate – it grows with experience. Get it out of your head that your goal is to have sex every time you meet a girl. Just look at it as an opportunity to improve yourself and learn a little bit more about feminine behavior. When you’re ready, it will happen – believe me!
3. Making it happen the first time – from theory to practice
Once you have finally succeeded in convincing your partner to take the next step, keep a few things in mind. This moment will probably remain etched in her memory (if she is a virgin, too). Forget everything you’ve seen in adult movies or what your friends have said. Typically, the first time doesn’t last very long. So don’t skimp on the romance, and take time to discoveryour partner’s body.
Being that guy who just wants to fuck doesn’t make for a very special first time. And no, it doesn’t make you seem like more of a man. You risk hurting your partner and being unable to keep your erection. What you should do is to establish a relationship of trust through communication. For example, you can offer your hand to your partner for her to show you where to touch.
Another important detail: always carry condoms on you! Your first time can take place without warning. And if you do not have protection, that means you’ll have to wait until the next opportunity. You’re not going to risk your health just to lose your virginity, are you?
To conclude this article, I really want to emphasize that the more desperate you are, the less chance you have to realize your dream and finally take action. Keep a cool attitude, don’t beat yourself up, and tell yourself that it will happen when it happens. When will that be? Nobody knows …
Personally, my first time was totally unexpected (both in terms of time – about 4 am – and in terms of my partner – a woman twice my age). I was like you, tormented by doubts and questions: When will I finally sleep with a girl? Why are my friends able to do it and not me? In the end, when I wasn’t even expecting it, a woman threw herself at me. I have since learned how to achieve my goals, and I hope that my weekly tips can help you a little bit.
J & B