Meeting women is great, but what comes next? You start a relationship, get into a routine, and… what? Everything can fall apart quickly if you don’t give your relationship the attention it deserves. A player isn’t just someone who can be charming to strangers. Knowing how to make your partner happy is also an important quality to develop.
Believe me, this isn’t always easy. The connection between two people is always put to the test of time. Spending everyday together can get old – you have less patience and tolerance for each other, which leads to conflict and taking each other for granted. One question then remains… Can you rescue your relationship from a potential break-up?
Crisis, what crisis?
We all know we should try to avoid spats and nasty little comments, to say nothing of insults or physical violence. You don’t have to be Einstein to see that a player respects his girlfriend, doesn’t put her down, and tries to ease tensions rather than adding fuel to the fire.
However, what many couples can’t seem to understand is the fact that everyday arguments, whether about personal values, taking care of your apartment, or even the color of your socks, are healthy and absolutely normal.
What do you look for in a woman? A pushover, or someone who challenges you as your intellectual equal? Want a slave who will fetch you a beer while you watch football, then massage your feet, or a girl who has her own personality? That’s up to you…
But know that disagreements are not necessarily the source of major conflict. Not having the same opinions doesn’t mean you’re incompatible, as long as you know how to listen to each other and respect your differences.
Effort, objectivity and dialogue as tools to solve your relationship problems
Many couples crash and burn without really understanding why their relationship isn’t working anymore. Even worse, we often don’t want to admit to ourselves that there is a problem. If you want to save your relationship, you have to keep the channels of communication open. You can’t close up, or run when the situation gets tense.
Love is about sharing. And as you probably know, trust and dialogue are the foundations of a strong couple. It’s time to come clean. Don’t ignore your problems. Discuss them with your girl realistically and without judgment.
Ask her what isn’t working for her and what solutions she suggests. This will allow you to understand her point of view and find common ground. Don’t get emotional. Focus on getting to the heart of the issue, and realize that reciprocal effort is necessary to rekindle the flame between you.
In short, understand that you can ‘t just sit on the couch telling yourself that everything will eventually work out, or that your situation is just a passing phase.
If you want to save your relationship, you must take the initiative. Trying to avoid confrontation really comes down to turning your back on the relationship and forgetting all that you shared. You’re not that kind of guy, are you?
How to act to save your relationship
Arguments and mutual misunderstanding are often driven by frustration, and expressed through anger or aggressiveness. During a fight, don’t try to force your views on your partner. The more you insist on proving you’re right, the less you listen to her side.
The best way to save your relationship is to stay calm and think about the weight of your words. I know it can be difficult to control your temper… But you have to try, unless you want to see your situation escalate and end in a breakup.
The more violent a confrontation is, the less likely it will bring results. Respect and consideration are the best tools to help you reason with your girl and explain your feelings. Don’t cut off your partner in the middle of a sentence, and allow her the freedom to think what she wants, even if it is exaggerated or incorrect.
If you can keep your composure and lucidity, she will realize that you’re not trying to make things worse, and that she herself will come to realize that she may have gone a bit too far.
A little air will do you good
A thoughtful attitude will help you achieve objectivity and make rational decisions. One very rational decision is often to take a little step back from your situation.
A “separation” of a few days is sometimes extremely helpful for both parties. We then see that we miss each other and we have time to think in peace while we get a break from our normal routines.
This is not an admission of failure, just a way to assess if your relationship is worth the effort. Take a week to clear your head and visit your parents, your brother, or your best friend.
You’ll soon realize that you might take your girlfriend for granted, but living without her isn’t so simple.
This time of reflection will also allow you to look to the future, imagine what your life will be like in a few years with your chosen one. Your mental outlook will improve and you will feel refreshed when you see each other again.
Step by step…
When we face a problem, we want to solve it immediately. But don’t kid yourself – your situation won’t improve overnight. Have some patience.
A relationship won’t be rebuilt in a snap. Both parties have to put in effort everyday. Your priority is to avoid new arguments so you can heal the old.
Your new mutual understanding, established through candid dialogue, will help you set a new course – but you have to make an effort to stay on it.
Know how to take responsibility and apologize if necessary
I’m not saying you should make yourself a doormat, but sometimes you have to take responsibility and acknowledge your mistakes. Swallow your pride and apologize frankly for any harm you’ve caused.
Admitting the role you played in the breakdown of your relationship is a way to demonstrate to your girlfriend how much she means to you and how much you respect her. This will help you to restore confidence and to begin to end the crisis you’re going through.
Saving a relationship is not easy. It requires willingness, commitment, sincerity and courage. Do not think that this makes you less of a player – quite the contrary. Confront your issues, share them, and identify solutions with your girlfriend, all while remaining calm, lucid and serene. Soon you’ll be able to say, “I saved my relationship!”