Little classical scenario, before we go into the reflection that I will share with you today.
We are Friday night…
You just came home from work/college. You are preparing dinner. It’s getting dark outside. You want to go out and have fun after a long week. You call your friends, send them text messages, and then watch a soccer game.
It’s getting darker. And no one has called yet.
But you still want to go out and meet nice ladies. The problem is that it’s getting REALLY late. Your phone is still dead. You start being desperate, and step by step, abandon the idea of going out. You end up giving up. Consequently, you spend the whole night (watching a little porn movie?) feeling like a loser living a completely boring and sterile life, while others, have fun and take advantage of life!
If the scenario that I just described is reproduced continually in your life, but you still want to have a beautiful girlfriend/woman, as in YOUR dreams, let me tell you that you’ve missed the point.
If you want to meet THE woman of your dreams, LIVE the life of your dreams!
I’m not telling you that you should drive a Ferrari, or that you should own a house near a beach in Ibiza. The life of your dreams that I’m talking about is a life that involves your passions, your interests, your future projects… But it is essentially based on your lifestyle and social circle.
If you don’t have an interesting lifestyle, you can not dare to think about the art of seduction. If you call friends and that they never call you back, there must be something wrong: they are not real friends.
So why count on them?
Should you WAIT for them before YOU can start having fun?
Of course not!!
You should not proceed that way!
If you want to go out, just… GO OUT!
The fact that you stay home, waiting for others, just destroys your social life, and consequently, you will develop insecurities that will end up being dangerous and that can dramatically damage your health and put a halt on your personal development (I suppose that we are all here to learn how to seduce and live happy lives.
Get out of your place each time you have the opportunity. Go eat at this restaurant that just opened, chat with the waitresses, go see a movie, go to afters… Just get the hell out!
The fact that you go out, even if you’re alone, will open you up to the world and to great opportunities. It will also enable you to eliminate all these insecurities that damage your progression….
One of my favorite anecdotes gives you a perfect illustration of this..
As you all know, I’m currently in Berlin, and I must admit that my start was, let’s just say, not at the top. As you know, German people are not the most welcoming people in the world, and to be able to create a real social circle here, believe me, you have to get work done. And you have to work hard, please.
Lately, I had the same experience. I came home from work, prepared dinner, and watched a Bundesliga soccer game (super boring). I called one of my colleagues, no one picked up…. Times went by, I felt more and more lazy, and my bed called me. I resisted the temptation and WENT out after all! Knowing that it cost me a great psychological effort to motivate myself and charge myself with positive emotions!
How did I do it?
Very simple. I pronounced this sentence: « No Kamal, this is Friday night, you worked hard all week, you deserve to spend good time, and, you deserve to meet a nice little German girl »/
I went to the bathroom, took a quick shower, got dressed up (just like Barney from How I met your Mother would :D ), and left the apartment with great enthusiasm and lots of energy.
At the lobby, I head a little voice… Oh! A cute girl is speaking to me, in German…“Sorry I don’t speak German…” I told her.
This was followed by a very long conversation, that I will say was… appetizing.
In fact, she wanted to know what time it was (really ? go figure…) but I allowed myself the luxury to seize the opportunity that was offered to me, and I was able to carry on a conversation with her, mostly talking about Berlin By Night, clubs, bars, the city’s festivals etc. Everything and nothing really!
Without wanting to fall in the arrogance trap, I could have easily invited her to finish the night upstairs (our conversation was held in my building’s lobby) but I wanted to CONFRONT this negative state of mind that I had at the beginning of the evening, and I still wanted to GO OUT!
I offered her to go to her favorite bar just to take a glass or two, without having the intention of seducing her. I wasn’t even interested, but I wanted to have a good time and that’s it. I deactivated the ladies’ man mode and just went by enjoying the evening. This is called subtle seduction:
You meet a girl, you don’t want to seduce her, and you disqualify her. And there, a miracle happens, she WANTS you to seduce her. You pass her under the radar.
Be active, enjoy life and be enthusiastic!
If we go back to the concept of opportunities that are offered to you just by going out of your home and by being active, you will naturally have the opportunity to meet people. All you need is to get them to be interested, and you will not really need to seduce them. Ask questions and inform yourselves on the city’s upcoming events. Be curious and you should want to know EVERYTHING about your environment!
Step by step, you will start building the first pillars of an exciting lifestyle. And whoever says exciting lifestyle says life of your dreams. Women will follow up automatically.
I must however draw you attention on another reflection.
I often get emails from my readers saying: « Kamal, I really want a beautiful girlfriend, but I don’t like going out at night, I don’t like nightclubs, I don’t like going to public places etc…
I don’t know what to answer… but I think some people would rather stay home, watch porn movies, play video games with geek friends, and wait till their sweetheart knows at the door and says « hey honey, let’s make love ! »
No, gentlemen, this is not how to works. You want a beautiful girlfriend, the girl of YOUR dreams? Then you should LIVE the life of your dreams and try to define and to know what the woman of your dreams is.
What does she look like? Do you have standards? Criteria?
So the first thing you should do is spend half an hour tonight, with a piece of paper and a pencil. Write down ALL the criteria that YOU want to see in her.
Describe her to a maximum.
The second thing is, you should know where you will eventually be able to find her, the places she hangs out in etc… Remember, a life of your dreams depends on your passions, your interest and your future plans, so the woman of your dreams SHOULD share with you these passions and these interests, and SHOULD participate in the success of your future projects.
You want a girlfriend who likes soccer? During weekends, go see your local championship games, go to Irish bars which show live games (and it will be two birds with one stone) and attend sports events etc.
You want a girlfriend who is more of an artist? Attend cultural events, festivals, visit museums, go to the theater, the opera etc.
The thing is: the better you know her, the more you have chances of meeting her.
Be active, have an enriching social life, build an exciting lifestyle and… LIVE the life of your dreams! You will end up meeting THE woman of your dreams!