This is an interesting question that every man has asked or will ask at some point in his life. It’s one of the great mysteries of life, and it involves complex feelings about perception of self, manhood, timing, and comparison to others. No one will admit it, but sex, especially when you’re a beginner, is a minefield of fear of failure and the of the unknown. Fortunately, you have SBK! Today, we’ll give you some tips to help you build your confidence and improve your and your partner’s relationship. Take a deep breath, and stay with us!
The manhood paradox
First I’m going to let you in on a little secret: You are a man, and women don’t think about sex the same way you do! Think that’s silly? Or something you already knew? If so, why then do so many men make the same mistake of focusing only on the outcome?
Men, by nature, are action-oriented. The problem that arises, though, is an over-focusing on the “final product.” Was I satisfied? Did I last long enough?
In men’s minds, the sexual act usually takes place in four steps:
– Undress and proceed through foreplay as quickly as possible
– Start the sex act itself (AKA, coitus)
– Achieve personal orgasm (forgetting his partner)
– Roll over, go to sleep
What do women think about sex like this? They don’t like it much at all! Many women feel empty, unsatisfied, or even disappointed after sex. For women, sex is about more than just achieving orgasm (though they enjoy it when that happens as much as we do).
What matters is the journey, not the destination. Women get pleasure from a feeling of intimacy. This should be evident from the beginning of foreplay, through every second of the act, and after the final climax.
Learn to give up control and include your partner in the sexual process
This is one of the most effective ways for both partners to really share and enjoy intercourse. You need to know how to let your partner take the wheel. How? Well it’s simple!
After dialing up the sexual tension between the two of you (through foreplay), let her know it’s time to act on her desires. Guide her hand to the sensitive parts of your body that you want her to stimulate and don’t at any momenthide the pleasure she’s giving you.
Giving a woman the feeling that she is in charge of the situation is a major turn-on. She knows from that point on that she can change the direction of the action when she wants to. A relationship of informal trust is established, which is very exciting for the fairer sex. For this to work properly, however, don’tbe aloof! Continue moving your hands along her body and showing your affection.
Enjoy the present!
Leave your ambition at the office, it’s of no use in the bedroom! No one is timing you, so take your time and go slowly.
While you make love, it’s important to focus on the pleasure you’re feeling rather than the eventual end of the experience. If you change your focus, you’ll see a difference in the way you perceive the sensations you feel.Focus your attention on her rather than on yourself, and try to pick up on the signals she’s sending to tell you that she appreciates what you’re doing.
Don’t be afraid to indulge your sensuality and build an intense sexual tension during foreplay: passionately kiss and caress erogenous zones such as the neck, ears, thighs, behind the knees, and breasts.
Sex is certainly physical, but it is also mental and emotional. You need to understand that the key to being good in bed is paying attention to your partner’s desires and giving yourself over to her. Focus on the movements of her body, and on her sighs. Once your partner feels thatshe has your full attention, you can then focus on your own pleasure. If you do so, you’ll both have more fun than ever before!
You now know what you have to do – go give it a try!